❝ Let's Talk People ❞

Real quick before I even get started on my little rant. I decided to change my "Insights" to "Tea Talk" because it's cuter! We don't actually need to be drinking tea, but you know how those sassy girls are when they own something and then sip their tea like 

Thank you Kermit for perfectly depicting my thoughts about the whole "Tea Talk" thing. Haha!

Well I guess here I go! 

I will not claim to be a saint, ever because I know I'm not. I'm not even anywhere close! I could go on and on about my flaws and quite frankly, it's whatever. I'm not perfect and I don't really want to be. And I know everyone else isn't perfect either. But what really gets me is like... why some people are just so complicated. 

And honestly, I don't even know how to come about this situation but I'm just sitting here thinking... how did things get the way they are? 

But I guess that's the world right? Unpredictable and chaotic one minute and then the next it's rainbows and sunshine and unicorns. 

There's a quote or poem I found once by Kailin Foster and it reads: "You can't expect someone to have your back, if they don't have a spine of their own" and I have never related so much with this. It's just so real and honest. And who knows if it's intentional or if the person really just can't be there for you. There are different circumstances for every situation. 

In one of my situations, I had a friend I was friends with since 7th grade. I went on so many family vacations with her, she knew about every aspect of my life. We had a falling out, due to the both of us. It was not one person's fault. There was always a little miscommunication between us at times. It just got bad a few months before she ended up moving across the country. And her move was supposed to be a good thing for us. And I decided to shoot her a text and say sorry for something I probably didn't even need to be sorry for, but that's just me being me and not being a fighter but being a lover. Cause I am a lover.... not a fighter.  We planned to get lunch and talk about it. She never followed through. And a part of me was so angry and furious at the time but the other part of me was so sad. 
It's a shame to think you wasted like 5 years on someone just to have it all be annihilated in the end.  Because now what is there but memories?.... sometimes memories aren't enough to keep something alive. 
And then there are guys, who are such complicated creatures and then say we are complicated. Truth is, we are all complicated and it's not just us girls... it's all of us, okay?  On and off situations aren't healthy, if you want something real... make it real. If you want a game, don't ask me to play. Sorry.  Relationships have to do with two people. If you want to be alone, awesome but you can't expect a relationship if you wanna be alone for weeks and weeks and months and months.  First of all, it's wrong to make someone wait like that.  Second, it's annoying.  That's all I have to say about that. 
But I don't want this to seem like a sad, hating the world post. Because I have amazing friends; of course we have our moments where we all have hated each other at some point. I've been through so much with my best friends but that's why they're my best friends and they are still my best friends and always will be my best friends.  I could literally sit in a coffee shop with my best friend Maddie for hours and talk about stupid things, or talk about deep things or just get advice from her on anything without her judging me.  I could stay up until 5am playing sims with my best friend Jessica. That actually happened once. She's the one who has been there for me since day one. Almost literally. And I know no matter what her and I go through we will always end up together in the end.  Linda & Jasmine have been there for me since elementary school and though I don't hang out with them in person regularly like I should, they are my best friends and they know literally everything about me. 
There are some things I regret that I've done, people I've lost because yes it was my fault. And I do wish I could take back those moments. The things I've said. Because I can be mean sometimes and I'll be the first to admit that but like I said before, I'm not perfect. My emotions are all over the place! But then again, whose isn't? 
That's my rant, and maybe some of you can identify and relate and maybe some of you can't. Moral of the story that I've learned typing this is that I need to learn to live and let go, and sometimes I need to swallow my pride.